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A real tension exists in Campbellsville. A lot of people feel like outsiders!

Campbellsville is divided into two groups: insiders and outsiders. Insiders have grown up here. They know almost everyone, who to talk to about certain problems, and the hidden gem restaurants. They know the ins and outs of the town. Meanwhile, everyone else who moves to Campbellsville are "outsiders." They ask around about the best doctors, mechanics and restaurants. But, "outsiders" also struggle finding friends. If you're an insider you already have your friends. You're not intentionally being mean. You simply don't need more friends so it doesn't cross your mind others might not have friends.

How can we help outsiders not just feel like insiders but actually bring them into the church family? The answer: create a "there you are" perspective. Thinking "there you are" means you're always looking out for someone to initiate a conversation or invite to dinner or an activity. Instead of being passive, you become active in welcoming others.

I recently talked with another "outsider" who described their first few months in town. Everyone wanted to take them to lunch after church or have them over for dinner. After a few months, all the dinner invites dried up. They called this "love bombing."

Let's not be guilty of "love bombing" where we are very welcome when a person is brand new and then stop thinking of them. This goes beyond welcoming people to bringing them into the family.

We absolutely want to welcome people but just as important (if not more important) is connecting people. 

Welcoming involves:

  • Saying "hi" at church

  • Inviting them to lunch within the first couple of months

  • Helping unload the moving truck

  • Asking the basic "get to know you" questions

All of those are important! The deacons unloaded our moving truck in 30 minutes! That kind of welcome speaks volumes. We just can't forget connecting people. 

Here are some ways to connect others.

Invite them to join your Sunday School class (or helping them find one that is a better fit for them.)

I'll admit, not everyone wants to jump all the way in on day one. Some will, but most won't. That doesn't mean you can't still try. Connection is about helping people become part of the family. You want to help them know more people and find community. 

Most likely you'll invite them but they won't respond right away. Give it some time and try again.

Give them your phone number

A lot of times we need to give people permission to reach out. Giving the person your number can communicate they have permission to talk to you. Don't require they give you theirs. They might be fine exchanging numbers, but they might not be comfortable giving out their phone number yet.

And say, "If you ever need help with *blank* don't hesitate to call/text me. Seriously."

Maybe you know a lot about cars so they can ask you when they have car trouble.

Maybe you notice they have young kids and you'd be a great babysitter.

Maybe you have free time and don't mind buying someone lunch every couple of weeks. 

You have something to offer. Letting them know how you can specifically help connects them with resources in the church and community. Remember, "insiders" already know who to call.

Follow up with that person.

Ok, so you gave them your number but haven't heard from them. You said "hi" a few weeks ago at church, but haven't talked to them since. Make an effort to talk with them again on Sunday or invite them to lunch again. Yes, it's really okay to take people to lunch more than once.

Ask deeper questions.

You may not be able to ask all of these right away, but some of them you can. I love to ask people: 

What are your passions?

People open up when you ask about what they love and care about. Plus, as you listen you can connect them to others in the church who care about the same thing. You can also connect them with a team to serve on that fits their passion.

Some other questions are:

  • How are you (really) doing?

  • Who is your hero?

  • What is your dream for yourself, and/or your family?

  • What is your favorite family tradition?

  • What is your favorite childhood memory?

  • How can I help and serve you?

To fulfill our church's mission of Leading people into a growing relationship with Christ by becoming rooted in God's love we need to connect people! Connection with others and various ministry environments around our church leads that person toward becoming rooted in God's love.